Curiosity & questions · 2026-08-20

A Little Space for I Don't Know

When we calmly admit we don't know the answer to a child's question, we offer them an invitation to discover the world together.

The preschool and early school years are famous for an endless stream of questions. From "Where does the sun go at night?" to "Do worms have ears?", every day brings a new intellectual challenge for parents. Many of us feel a hidden pressure: as adults, we believe we must act as an all-knowing encyclopaedia. When faced with a tricky question, we might offer a vague response or quickly pull out our phones, eager to provide the correct answer.

However, calmly looking at your child and saying "I don't know" is actually one of the most precious gifts you can give them.

Dropping the burden of the encyclopaedia

When adults admit that they do not know everything, we send a powerful message: learning is a lifelong journey. Research by developmental psychologists such as Alison Gopnik demonstrates that young children do not just passively absorb facts; they act as little scientists, constantly testing causal relationships ¹. When they ask a question, they are not always looking for a flat statement of fact. They are yearning to understand how the world works.

If we always rush to supply an answer, the conversation often ends there. In contrast, saying "I don't know, but that is a wonderful question" instantly validates a child's curiosity. It teaches them that not knowing is nothing to be ashamed of—it is, in fact, the starting point of every great discovery.

Becoming co-explorers

Imagine a family weekend walk along a Swiss mountain trail. Your child stops near a traditional wooden chalet, points to a small alpine flower growing in the rocks, and asks, "Why does this flower have fuzzy white hair?" Or perhaps they look up at the peaks and wonder, "Why does that glacier look blue instead of white?"

Faced with these questions, you can take a deep breath, smile, and say, "You have such sharp eyes. I've never noticed that either. Let's find out together."

The pioneering Swiss developmental psychologist Jean Piaget famously viewed children as active builders of their own knowledge, rather than passive vessels waiting to be filled ². When we step down from the pedestal of the all-knowing adult and become co-explorers, we leave vital space for children to construct that knowledge themselves. We move from a relationship of teaching to a shared experience of wondering.

Slowing down the search

In our digital age, accessing information is effortless. We can whip out a smartphone and find the optical principles behind blue glacier ice in seconds. But if we can slow this process down, the rewards are much richer.

Before checking the internet, we can ask, "What is your best guess?" Perhaps they will suggest the flower grew hair to wear a warm jumper against the cold alpine wind—a brilliantly logical deduction for a young mind. This shared curiosity and gentle probing of the unknown is exactly the philosophy behind companions like Sparkie—encouraging a child to ask "one more why" instead of settling for a dead-end fact.

When we take the time to slowly piece together an answer side-by-side, our children learn something far more valuable than the fact itself. They learn how to learn.

Things to try at home this week

• Guess first: Before looking up an answer in a book or online, ask your child, "What does your brain think?" Validate their logic, no matter how wildly imaginative their hypothesis might be.
• Start a wonder jar: Find an empty jar or a small notebook. When a question pops up that you cannot answer on the spot, write or draw it on a slip of paper and bank it. Set aside time at the weekend to visit the library or research it together.
• Model your own curiosity aloud: Let your child hear you wondering about the world. You might say, "I don't know why that bird is making such a loud noise today. What do you think?"